Part 2 Shame On You For Hurting Me. Shame On Me For Trusting You.

This is how I was able to move on from the pain my past therapist caused me.

After blogging part one was the first step in my healing process. That helped get rid of my anger and emotional pain.

The second step was to realize I don’t have to own this pain. The more time passed I was able to start letting go of the pain.

I used many DBT skills I had been taught. It was automatic for some skills. I did turn to a new DBT therapist and telling him the experiences I went through with my past therapist and her best friend helped tremendously.

He was very validating and gave me wise mind suggestions how to get through the stages of abandonment and allow myself to face the facts to heal.

I trust him and use the skills he is giving me to let go and live in the present moment.

He opened my eyes to see that I actually had been with the wrong therapist all along. I was better off seeing a therapist that teaches me versus venting on me.

I am seeing this DBT therapist on a regular basis. I feel free of all that anger and hurt. I let go of what happened to me. I now feel my power is back and I’m in wise mind again.

I appreciate my new therapist and trust him completely. I’m still learning. I’m in a better place in my mind now. I will continue to work hard to stay in this state of mind.

Copyright (c) 2018 by Jean Rhymoreason Powell. All Rights Reserved.

Fundamentals of an Engine

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I had always had this attraction to vehicles.  I wanted to learn more on how the engine worked from electrical to fuel pump, sending unit to sparking the engine and what parts make it run while it keeps the vehicles running. But I’m a girl, asking myself “is it normal for me to be so intrigued by cars? How all the fundamental parts start and keep the engine running?” Then I thought “I don’t care what anyone thinks of me wanting to expand my attraction of knowledge on something you usually see only men working on.” I started reading online about what GM Technical classes had to offer and what I wanted to know. After absorbing the knowledge the class taught me I started using my own vehicle as practice to make myself a mechanic.

I started working at a dealership where I was a parts specialist and learned even more about what parts the vehicles needed to run efficiently and stay running. My goal was to just continue to work on cars and trucks. It was later on that my drive was to find out more about diesel engines. So I took a job in a garage working on diesel vehicles.  The rigs are a lot bigger and more complex than cars and trucks. I was so driven to get more experience with these huge engines. I would get a lot more stains on my uniform working on diesel versus cars and trucks. I found it refreshing because the more grease and oil I had on my uniform meant the harder I worked.

What I hadn’t realized is finding out that this kind of work takes a beating on your body from these big rigs. The low riders especially, because the creeper barely fits under the fenders and facials of these big rigs. But I wasn’t about to throw in the towel just because I injured my tail bone from laying on hard cement. I used the weight of my body to remove and replace broken parts. My arms, shoulders and wrist were taking quite a beating from the strenuous hard labor too. I was very disappointed that my body was beginning to become damaged from the hard labor and my dream job was becoming a beacon of lost hope. I had head injuries from misjudging the room I had between the cement and the engine. On several occasions a concussion left me off work without pay for four days.

This was workers compensation responsibility to cover my doctor visits and my time off. The problem was workers compensation doesn’t pay you until you have been off work for several days. I was put on pain medication which prevented me to return to work. My lower back started causing me pain, my legs would go numb and I would fall to the ground. I was unable to return to work due to the injuries I received from these big rigs. I saw many doctors and specialist because of how debilitating my injuries were. I started seeing spine specialist, had lots of MRI scans showing that I had a herniated disk and several bulging disks. My head injuries didn’t stop with migraine headaches, but also neck, back and leg injuries. I was now thinking I underestimated my body being able to keep up with my dream of being a mechanic and working on big rigs.

I had decided that I would go back and try working on small car engines and trucks. I was discharged from the diesel garage and found myself jobless. I still have determination to keep my dream alive so I decided to start my own business. I advertised my business as Innovative Auto detailing and small engine mechanic. I needed an accountant to help with what I need to do to take payment for my time and hard work. My accountant took care of all the receipts and filing what needed to be done to keep records for my new business. I would pay the accountant on commission according to supply and demand of parts needed. The payment I would receive for the work I did on customers vehicles would be recorded for record keeping by the accountant.

The business was working very well but I needed to achieve more knowledge to have the ability to remove and replace parts on the newer vehicles. The new vehicles were more complex due to technology changing all the time. I educated myself and learned how to pimp the exterior of vehicles. The craft and precision I placed into pin stripes to full decals and graphics gave me the confidence to excel. I loved it so much I then started detailing the inside of vehicles. My knowledge I learned and experiences I gained with vehicles has now given me a large ability to do anything that comes to mind. It’s art work I created within my own perfection and now that I have all this talent; I am still living my dream even though I am a girl.

Copyright © 2015 By Jean Powell. All Rights Reserved.