Neutral Wants The Truth

Who will be standing in the End? What players, what rules will be twisted to bend? Will the truth be told or will we be left to defend? Neutral sides wants us to pretend. To show our kids what is not truly real? How do they truly know how we truly feel? Anger and blame pointed at us, when they are just notorious, showing off old scars and holding grudges in their own jars. They can’t see all chaos they cause. Their minds blind them like speeding cars, just a passing blur. The words they speak are just a slur. They want chaos and havoc to stir.

We are sick of their game of Rumors. Their words, faces, the lies and accusations spread like tumors. What would be a family is sold to the consumers. See who you really are, just look in the mirrors. They are so toxic, we have walked away because we are no longer your prey. We have drawn a line in the sand. So neutral side we don’t live in their land. In the end it will be us who stand. Their drama will not become our trauma. This sandy line means we don’t need their contraband. Their envy, need to control is their own FairyLand. We protect ourselves with bullet proof glass. Like snakes in the grass, no more bites, scrapes or scuff. Enough is enough. We are strong together hand in hand. Together we proudly stand.

Copy (C) Right. All Rights Reserved 2022 By Jean Rhymoreason Powell

I’ve Been Thinking

What and how things are said to others can impact others emotionally. We don’t think about this when we make opinionated or judged statements.

There’s a saying out there that states, “I’m not responsible for others understanding, I’m only responsible for what I said.” The fact is that statement is only half true. The way I state something is my responsibility and making sure the other person understand what I truly meant. Misunderstanding can destroy relationships in seconds. Defenses go up, ears close and impulsive words are spoken out loud. Turning a simple conversation into chaos.

We all say things out of emotional mind at times. We all impulsively react. This is a very dangerous game we play. Things said or done can end up being a huge mistake, one we may regret the rest of our lives.

No one wants to hurt others on purpose. We say things out of anger or hurt. The emotional mind needs to be pulled out of the equation. Using reasonable mind is needed to get to wisemind. Now in a perfect world wisemind would be easy to stay in. The world is not perfect. Impulsive behavior is always there when it comes to bad decisions made.

Bad decisions turn into mistakes then regret. When someone believes they need to save someone else from lets say life style. Pushing their beliefs, fears, misguided information on us feels hurtful, being judged, angered, wanting to stike back and prove they are wrong.

In this case cut the chaos short and agree to disagree. Well that works in a lot of cases, but not all cases. When someone keeps pushing and pushing it brings the other person into emotional mind. That’s when the shit hits the fan. Now the chaos gets real bad. The back and forth of hurtful words are thrown out. This causes more pain. Enough pain that the relationship is severed and cannot be repaired.

What if something significant happens in my life? That’s what makes me take a step back and think. If I learned I had limited time left on earth without letting go of this disrepair in the relationship would the other person be left in despair and haunted by the mistake of making those statements? I know I would be if the relationship meant a lot to me at one time.

I have made too many impulsive mistakes in my life. I can’t change what I’ve done, but I can change how I make choices in this present moment. Even tho I can’t take away the pain I’ve caused I can change how I make decisions. I can change how I interact with those I hurt. Refresh the relationship from this moment on. I can let go of my pain others have caused me. Set myself free. After all I am responsible for myself and not anyone else.

I want people to remember me as having a magnetic personality

Copy (C) Right 2020 by Jean Rhymoreason Powell All Rights Reserved

Part 2 Shame On You For Hurting Me. Shame On Me For Trusting You.

This is how I was able to move on from the pain my past therapist caused me.

After blogging part one was the first step in my healing process. That helped get rid of my anger and emotional pain.

The second step was to realize I don’t have to own this pain. The more time passed I was able to start letting go of the pain.

I used many DBT skills I had been taught. It was automatic for some skills. I did turn to a new DBT therapist and telling him the experiences I went through with my past therapist and her best friend helped tremendously.

He was very validating and gave me wise mind suggestions how to get through the stages of abandonment and allow myself to face the facts to heal.

I trust him and use the skills he is giving me to let go and live in the present moment.

He opened my eyes to see that I actually had been with the wrong therapist all along. I was better off seeing a therapist that teaches me versus venting on me.

I am seeing this DBT therapist on a regular basis. I feel free of all that anger and hurt. I let go of what happened to me. I now feel my power is back and I’m in wise mind again.

I appreciate my new therapist and trust him completely. I’m still learning. I’m in a better place in my mind now. I will continue to work hard to stay in this state of mind.

Copyright (c) 2018 by Jean Rhymoreason Powell. All Rights Reserved.

Shame On You For Hurting Me. Shame On Me For Trusting You!

Something so horrible was done to me that now I’m their hostage.

I no longer want to be caged up in these tears. I no longer want to quit being me due to the pain you caused.

I am breaking free right now by telling my story. That’s right I’m getting my healthy mindset back and you will no longer be a thought in my mind.

This is my story.

I trusted my DBT therapist. I cared about her. I opened up my book of me. No one has heard my fears, my emotions, my thoughts, my everything that makes me, Me.

For five years of my life you taught me how to get out of emotional mind, find reasonable mind and stay in wise mind.

I was proud of my accomplishments. I was proud you helped me be a better Person. How to leave the past in the past. To live in the present and cope ahead for my future.

All that vanished the day you dropped me like yesterdays trash.

Your best friend started contacting me for help, validation and how to cope with you hurting her. This should have been stopped the moment you found out she was doing this.

You told her to stay away from me. You told her to stop all contact with me. You know your best friend inside and out. You know she wouldn’t listen to what you asked her do.

You never once told me to stop all contact with your best friend. You never told me this is unethical. Each time I asked you if it was okay to be friends with her your response was ” I can’t tell you who you can or cannot tell me to be friends with.” In this case I believe you had the right to tell me don’t be friends with your best friend.

I believe you should have told me how dangerous it would be to be friends with her. In this particular case you should of warned me how unethical it was, how being friends with your best friend would lead up to you hurting me as much as you did.

Trust is a hard thing to gain. Trust is what gave you the in to help me. But you let the friendship play out. Your best friend created such a triangle of chaos. You just let it happen. She disobeyed every request you asked of her. You know her well enough that she wouldn’t listen to you.

Your manner changed, your words changed, your demeaner changed, how you treated me changed. I was so close to you I could read your body language like a book.

You would get short with me when I reached out for help. Your words were selfish. You even said ‘I’m sick of hearing about me going back and forth with a decision I had to make.” You are a therapist and DBT coach. The words and tone you had were all in emotional mind.

You worked so hard to teach me stay in wisemind yet you are the one in emotional mind. You made me feel like a burden. I stopped reaching out to you for help. You realized I stopped asking you for help. You owned your actions and changed your behavior for a while and asked me to reach out for help.

I still feared reaching out to you. So I would pick and choose when to reach out to you for help. Then eventually stopped contacting you for help again.

Your replies for your help were unprofessional words. Your words made me feel worse. Not helpful at all. Your words just added more fear and insecurities.

Your best friend kept contacting me venting about you. I told her talking about my therapist with me is not allowed. She kept contacting me anyway.

She would tell me things about you that she should not have. Again I reminded her I can’t talk about my therapist with you. The boundaries were broken more times than I can count.

You never stepped in to stop this. At least from my end anyway. It finally got to the point where you and I both were between a rock and a hard place.

Your best friend lied to you over and over. I again kept asking are you sure I shouldn’t be friends with your best friend. You gave me the same answer as always, “I can tell you who you can and can’t be friends with.

My spouse contacted you and let you know how this triangle is braking all ethics of a therapist.

This brought you to let your best friend read that text. Then your best friend came to my work place and threatened she was going to sue me if I turn you into the board. I had no thoughts of doing this and never will.

Your best friend told me she is in love with you and if she lost you she would be 6’ under. I told her at that point her and I no longer will be friends ever again. I then met with you the next day and I spilled everything that your best friend did and said this past year about you. I told you how she is so obsessed with you she needs help.

Obviously I read your body language and you felt violated and very angry with your best friend. I validated your emotions. I would of felt the same way you did. That’s the day you told me to find a different therapist. There was no closure between you and I. You were so angry you slammed your note pad and pen on the end table.

I told you I don’t want a different therapist. I don’t want to start over trusting someone else and being open with a stranger.

You and I understood each other and I could talk to you about anything. Now I lost all that. Everything you taught me, how I was no longer afraid of opening up, my trust and care for you was taken from me that day.

The worst part about it is I did nothing to deserve this pain. I cannot start therapy with someone else. I am in cruciating pain ever since that day. I bet you and your best friend don’t even give me a second thought. I now need to get angry, be done grieving and take my power back.

I have had contact with the leading DBT therapist. She said this is a horrible thing that you’ve done to me. She also said all this is unethical and broke hippa laws. She told me this is something serious enough to be reported to the board.

I will never take this to the board. I care that much about you and the stresses you have in life that I don’t want to cause more stress to your life nor chance of you losing your license and your business.

As you once said to me when I needed DBT skills help from you, all you gave me was “count your blessings”. Oh and one more thing you said to me ‘quit having pitty parties.

So this is what I say to you, I never have pitty parties. Count your blessing. I wish you the best. I am now throwing you out of my mind forever!

Copy (c) Right Jean Powell 2018 All Rights Reserved

Let’s Talk About Double Standards

What are double standards? Why are there double standards? Several reasons why I suppose. Your boss hates you, your friend expects more than you can give, relatives may think you have it easier than they do. The list goes on and on.

Double standards….here’s an example of what they are. Your boss gives you a task that everyone hates. This task use to be a roation for all employees, but not anymore, now you get the task everyday on top of the other work load you already have.

Your friends needs you more than you need him. He has a big heart and will give to you just enough to keep the friendship. The favors he asks of you sometimes are easy, but as soon as he asks for something you can’t do for him, Shit hits the fan and he throws at you all the things he has done for you.

You have a relative that thinks they have it worse than you do even tho they don’t know your whole life story. They make this public to whoever they can because they would rather be stuck in their own pitty party than ask for facts.

Hurtful things said can pierce someone into a state of mind no one wants to be in. Everyone has their own life problems. It may seem some people have it worse than others but the fact is they more than likely don’t.

And life has it’s fun enjoyable times too. Don’t let hurtful words destroy a family. People are more important than things. Peoples’ hearts are more important than different situations.

Comparing situation bring pain to everyone. It’s not healthy to compare life situations to your own. Families need to be there for each other not stay bitter. Life is too short to hold grudges. Forgive and forget. Love and be loved. We all do the best we can.

Copyright © 2015 By Jean Powell. All Rights Reserved.